Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Where to begin?

Well let's start with when I heard God talking to me. Heh, why not?!

They say ( you know "they") that a lot of people "find" God in their darkest hour. I'm no different from that assertion. Indeed I had been and still was in my darkest hour. I was living in so much numbed anxiety about my situation in life that I'd finally decided to just stop my running around and trying to go on as if my life was fine. I just stopped. I made my daughter my focus. My life got very very quiet. And that's when I heard Him. What He said is not important. What's important is that I knew it was Him.

Now, I assure you, as a psychology major and avid Atheist of sixteen years, I still to this day have the knee-jerk reaction that I'm just having a psychotic episode and hearing voices. When I read things out of the bible my scientific and analytical mind kicks in and I think...come on! But God shows me something almost everyday that is miraculous to me...in just believing in Him and the sacrifice of Jesus for me I have been transformed. There are no words to describe my life before and after accept maybe miraculous...but it's really a feeling not to be described but felt.

I still have a hard time talking about my transformation with my older friends and family that know of my past. I still have a hard time talking about it period because the words just don't exist.

I am at the beginning of my journey as a Christ Follower so some things I post here will probably need guidance from other more seasoned Christians. Please forgive me in advance for my ignorance on some things....I am learning new things everyday. One of my biggest struggles is to understand why Christians can be judgmental and rude, so I got the book by Beth Moore , Why Godly People do Ungodly Things. I'm not sure if this addresses etiquette but we'll see! I have been profoundly impacted by my experience and it has taken almost all my negativity out of me...this is why I don't understand other Christians, who have been Christians for so long, that can be so so negative. It boggles my wee brain.

4 comments:

  1. Christianity cannot be lived as purely today as was intended. Due to education, especially psychological education, the tools and breadth of manipulation are vast and impossible to not employ at every opportunity for ones sole benefit. One should search their soul, as those who think they are most pure & new are least living up to Christ's expectations.

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  2. I agree that it may be difficult to live as a Christian today...but I think it has always been difficult. Just read the bible, the Israelites for example.

    And being older and wiser and taking every word to heart from the bible, I know that I'm reborn and see all the flaws in me. Hopefully every new Christian would not think they are pure and new and always living up the Christ's expectations. That would be perfection, and we as humans will never be that.

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  3. I would start off by reading my bible daily...books are great, but soak up His word...books are still written by humans, but God's word never fails. This is by no means bashing Christian books, but a new Christian should definitely be taking the pure milk of God's word. It doesn't matter how long you've been a Christian, we'll never know everything there is to know about Christianity. The Christians that are negative and rude may not honestly even be Christians. Christ did not come to this world to condemn but to save us, so who are we to condemn? We don't condone sin or accept it, but we love those that are blind to their sin and use every opportunity God gives us to minister to them...that's exactly what Jesus did. Either way, I am praising God that you have turned to Christ after being an atheist for so long. You say that has taken all the negativity out of you...ONLY Jesus could do something like that. And maybe you don't need to say anything to family and friends from the past about your decision to come to Christ. They will see the change and will be the one asking you what's going on...another great opportunity and witness to share your testimony. My Pastor always says fairytales don't change lives, Jesus does. Welcome to His Kingdom!

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  4. Marie, thanks for visiting my blog! I love yours! I haven't had a chance to read much of yours but it looks so inspiring.

    I don't necessarily feel I "have" to talk to those in my family and older friends about my experience...I just can't help it. Then I find myself feeling somewhat awkward only because I haven't had conversations like that with any of them and only a handful of them are Christians. And as far as those people that are Christians but don't seem to behave as Christians, I've learned the difference between Christians and Christ Followers.

    I agree Christ is the only one who took the negative out of me. For my husband and those closest to me, the way I am now is a true testament to His good works in me. It is amazing!

    I love what your pastor says...I'll have to use that sometime! :-)

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